Stop Calling Neurodivergent Children “Dull”

Growing up, I remember the sting of labels. Not for myself—but for the many classmates around me who were called names that stripped them of dignity: “olodo”, “dullard”, “slow”, “unintelligent”. It happened both in primary and secondary school, in classrooms that were supposed to be safe spaces. Sadly, these weren’t just labels. They became lifelong identities that haunted these children well into adulthood.

At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it.

We all thought it was normal to mock those who couldn’t “keep up.” We assumed that if a child wasn’t doing well in school, it meant they weren’t smart. They needed more beating. Or more shame. Or louder yelling. But Alhamdulillah, I know better now.

Through my learning in education, psychology, family therapy, and neurodevelopment, I’ve come to a heartbreaking, yet empowering realization: many of the children we labelled as “dull” were never dull at all.

They were different.

And we failed them.

What We Didn't Know About the "Abnormal" and "Slow" Children

Some children are born with mental disabilities—conditions that can be physically and emotionally draining on the family. These children may never fully mature in mental capacity, often functioning like toddlers or young kids even as they age into adulthood. That’s a deep and challenging journey, and one for another day.

But there’s another category of children—more common and deeply misunderstood—those with neurodevelopmental disorders such as:

• ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

• ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

• SLD (Specific Learning Disabilities like dyslexia, dyscalculia, etc.)

These children have no issues with intelligence. Their IQ can be average, above average, or even exceptional. But they learn, focus, speak, and behave differently—not wrongly.

The problem isn’t their brain.

The problem is our lens.

The Labels That Break Them

Imagine being a child who’s trying their best to concentrate but whose brain processes sound, sight, and emotion in a heightened, scattered way. Imagine struggling to write letters correctly because your motor planning is off. Imagine not understanding sarcasm or social rules because your wiring is different.

Now imagine being called “useless,” “a disgrace,” or “possessed.”

These aren’t just names. They’re weapons. They pierce confidence, destroy self-worth, and plant the seeds of anxiety, depression, and rebellion.

Let us recall the words of our Prophet ﷺ:

“He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones.” (Abu Dawood, 4943)

Neurodiversity is Not Disobedience

In Islam, every soul is created with intention and purpose. Allah says:

“Indeed, We have created man in the best of stature.”

(Surah At-Tin, 95:4)

This includes children with ADHD who can’t sit still during dhikr, or children on the autism spectrum who struggle with emotional connection, or a child with a learning disability who still can’t read at age 10.

They are not broken.

They are not stupid.

They are not the enemy of your reputation as a parent or teacher.

They are different. And it’s time we learn them.

What Parents and Teachers Must Do Now

1. Learn About Neurodevelopmental Disorders
   Read. Attend seminars. Speak to professionals. If your child is struggling socially, emotionally, or academically, don’t delay getting a professional assessment.

2. Stop Comparing Them to Other Children
   Your child’s journey is theirs alone. Do not use the milestones of other kids as a weapon of shame.

3. Build Their Confidence
   Every child has a strength. Help them discover it. Celebrate small wins. Allow their hearts to breathe.

4. Avoid Harsh Labels and Name-Calling
   The Prophet ﷺ never shamed the weak. He elevated them. His mercy was magnetic. Shouldn’t we follow his example?

5. Be Their Advocate
   Don't wait for society to be kind to your child. Teach others how to treat them. Protect them. Stand up for them.

So many of our children are hurting not because Allah created them lacking, but because we lacked understanding. If only we had known, we would have taught them differently. Loved them more patiently. Disciplined them more wisely. And most importantly, we would have seen their beauty beneath the struggle.

Let this be the beginning of a new chapter—not just for you as a parent or teacher—but for the many children whose futures will be shaped by your compassion and willingness to learn.

“And do not despise the weak among you, for it is by them that you are granted provision and help.”

– Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Sahih Bukhari)

Keep Following Our Blog

At Pure Sprouts Nurture Hub, we will In Shaa Allaah, continue to share practical guidance and Islamic insights to help you understand and raise children with neurodevelopmental disorders, in the next few posts. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver — you have a role to play in rewriting the stories of these precious souls.

Let’s raise hearts, not just hands.

Let’s raise children, not just expectations.

And let’s do it with mercy.

Did this reflection stir your heart or open your mind?

🌟 Share the khayr. Leave a comment below with your thoughts.

🧠 Explore more posts to deepen your parenting and marital journey—bi idhnillāh.

💬 Let’s build a future of light, one heart and one home at a time.

Understanding Executive Functions

What are Executive Functions?

Think of executive functions as the brain’s “boss skills.” These are important mental abilities that help children plan, focus, remember instructions, control impulses, manage emotions, and solve problems. Just like a boss in an office directs tasks and keeps everything running smoothly, executive functions organize and guide a child’s thoughts and actions.

Some key executive functions include:

• Working Memory: Holding information in mind (like remembering instructions).

• Inhibitory Control: Stopping impulses or urges (like waiting your turn).

• Cognitive Flexibility: Adjusting to new rules or situations (like switching tasks smoothly).

• Planning and Organization: Figuring out how to do things step-by-step (like getting ready for school).

• Emotional Regulation: Managing feelings in different situations.

Executive Dysfunction: When the Brain’s Boss Needs Support

Sometimes, children struggle with these “boss skills.” This is called executive dysfunction. It means their brain has trouble managing tasks, controlling impulses, or regulating emotions. This isn’t about being “lazy” or “disobedient”—it’s about how their brain is wired or temporarily overwhelmed.

Signs of executive dysfunction might look like:

• Forgetting homework or instructions frequently

• Acting impulsively or interrupting others

• Getting easily frustrated or overwhelmed

• Difficulty starting or finishing tasks

• Trouble organizing belongings or managing time

Why Is This Important for Parents and Teachers?

When children have executive dysfunction, they may seem challenging or “difficult” to manage, but they actually need extra understanding and support. Reacting with beating, harsh scolding, or punishment can hurt their confidence, make their brain more stressed, and worsen their struggles.

How to Support Children with Executive Dysfunction

Here are some gentle and practical ways to help children build their executive functions and thrive:

1. Stay Calm and Patient: Your calmness helps the child feel safe and reduces their anxiety, which can improve brain function.

2. Use Clear, Simple Instructions: Break tasks into small, manageable steps. Instead of “Clean your room,” say, “First put your toys in the box, then put your clothes in the basket.”

3. Create Routines: Consistent daily routines help children know what to expect and reduce decision-making stress.

4. Use Visual Aids: Charts, checklists, and timers help children remember and manage tasks.

5. Practice Emotional Regulation: Teach children to recognize their feelings and use calming techniques like deep breathing or counting.

6. Encourage Breaks: Short, frequent breaks during tasks prevent overwhelm and improve focus.

7. Praise Effort, Not Just Results: Celebrate small achievements to build their confidence and motivation.

8. Avoid Harsh Punishment: Instead of beating or yelling, use positive reinforcement and gentle redirection. Harsh discipline increases stress hormones and can damage the brain’s ability to self-regulate.

Executive functions develop gradually and can be strengthened with support, understanding, and love. By guiding children patiently and respectfully, parents and teachers can help them become confident, organized, and emotionally balanced individuals.

Abu Anas, Abdullateef SADIQ

+2348108537508 

abufaatimah07@gmail.com

Pure Sprouts Nurture Hub 

Parenting Styles and Their Impact on Children

Parenting is one of the most significant responsibilities a person can undertake. It shapes the future of children, determines their behavior, and influences their success both in this world and in the Hereafter. Allah reminds us of the weight of this responsibility in the Qur’ān:  

"O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones..." 

(Qur’ān 66:6, Muhsin Khan translation).  

This article explores the four main parenting styles, their effects on children, and emphasizes the most effective style in light of Islamic teachings.

1. Authoritarian Parenting: The Strict and Controlling Approach

Authoritarian parents enforce strict rules and high expectations, with little room for discussion. They often prioritize obedience over emotional connection, expecting children to follow instructions without question.  

• Impact on Children:  

  Children raised under authoritarian parenting may develop low self-esteem, become fearful, or feel alienated. They may excel in structured environments but struggle with decision-making and independence.  

• Islamic Perspective:  

  Islam does not advocate for excessive harshness. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:  

"Indeed, Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters."

(Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim).  

  While discipline is essential, it must be balanced with kindness and understanding.

2. Permissive Parenting: The Lenient and Indulgent Approach 

Permissive parents tend to be highly nurturing but set few rules or boundaries. They avoid confrontation, giving children significant freedom without much guidance.  

• Impact on Children:  

  Children raised in permissive households may lack self-discipline, struggle with authority, and face difficulties in structured settings. They might develop an entitlement mentality and face challenges in managing responsibilities.  

• Islamic Perspective:  

  Islam discourages negligence in raising children. The Prophet (ﷺ) emphasized the importance of boundaries when he said:  

"Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock..."

(Sahih al-Bukhari and Muslim).  

  This highlights the need for a balance between nurturing and setting limits.

3. Neglectful Parenting: The Absent and Uninvolved Approach 

Neglectful parents provide little attention, guidance, or support. This style often arises from personal struggles or a lack of awareness about the child’s needs.  

• Impact on Children:  

  Children raised by neglectful parents often experience feelings of abandonment, low self-worth, and may develop behavioral issues. They struggle to form healthy relationships and often face academic challenges.  

• Islamic Perspective:  

  Neglecting the needs of children is a grave sin in Islam. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:  

"It is enough sin for a person to neglect those whom he is responsible for sustaining."

(Sunan Abu Dawood).  

  Parents are entrusted with the duty to care, nurture, and guide their children.

4. Authoritative Parenting: The Balanced and Best Approach  

Authoritative parents combine high expectations with warmth and responsiveness. They set clear rules while encouraging open communication, nurturing emotional bonds alongside discipline.  

• Impact on Children:  

  This style fosters confidence, independence, and strong decision-making skills. Children are more likely to excel academically, develop emotional intelligence, and maintain healthy relationships.  

• Islamic Perspective:  

  Authoritative parenting aligns closely with Islamic teachings. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) exemplified this style in his interactions. He disciplined when necessary but always coupled it with love, patience, and understanding.  

  For instance, he said:  

"Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old, and discipline them for it when they are ten years old."

(Sunan Abu Dawood).  

  This hadith shows a gradual and understanding approach to parenting, emphasizing both teaching and discipline.

Futuristic Impact of Parenting Styles 

• Authoritarian: Produces obedient but often insecure children.  
• Permissive: Results in undisciplined, entitled individuals.  
• Neglectful: Leads to emotionally damaged and socially withdrawn children.  
• Authoritative: Fosters balanced, confident, and responsible individuals. 

The Best Parenting Style: Authoritative with an Islamic Framework

From the above, it is evident that authoritative parenting is the most effective style. When combined with Islamic principles, it creates a nurturing environment that balances love, discipline, and spiritual guidance.

  

• Emphasizing Love and Kindness:  

  The Prophet (ﷺ) was known for his gentleness. He said:  

"He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones and respect to our elders."

(Sunan al-Tirmidhi).  

  This highlights the importance of love and compassion in parenting.  

• Setting Boundaries:  

  While love is crucial, boundaries are equally important. Allah says:  

"And those who say: 'Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring the comfort of our eyes and make us leaders of the Muttaqun (pious).'"

(Qur’ān 25:74).  

  This du’ā reflects the need for nurturing children within an Islamic framework to raise righteous individuals.

Practical Steps for Parents  

1. Focus on Spiritual Development: Teach children about Allah, Salah, and good character from an early age.  
2. Balance Discipline with Love: Correct mistakes with patience and kindness, avoiding excessive harshness.  
3. Encourage Open Communication: Create an environment where children feel safe to express themselves.  
4. Lead by Example: Children mimic their parents' actions. Be the person you want your child to become.  
5. Provide Education and Life Skills: Equip children with both worldly and Islamic knowledge.  

Parenting is not just a personal responsibility but a divine trust. The Qur’ān and the Sunnah offer a comprehensive guide for raising children in a balanced and righteous manner. By adopting an authoritative style infused with Islamic principles, parents can nurture the next generation of pious, confident, and successful Muslims.  

May Allah guide us all in fulfilling this noble duty. Ameen.

Shaping Futures: The Impact of Childhood Experiences and Intentional Parenting

Parenting is one of the most significant responsibilities an individual can undertake, yet its true impact often unfolds many years after the child has grown. Every word spoken, action taken, and decision made during a child's formative years creates ripples that shape their personality, behavior, and worldview as adults. The experiences children have in their earliest years serve as the foundation for their emotional, psychological, and spiritual development, ultimately influencing how they navigate relationships, challenges, and even their connection to Allah.

In this article, we will explore how childhood experiences impact individuals in adulthood and highlight the importance of being present and intentional in the parenting journey.

The Power of Childhood Experiences

Childhood experiences—both positive and negative—play a critical role in shaping a person's emotional and mental framework. Research shows that early life experiences contribute to the development of the brain, emotional resilience, and coping mechanisms. Here are some of the key ways these experiences influence an individual’s life:  

1. Emotional Regulation

Children who grow up in nurturing environments where their feelings are acknowledged and validated tend to develop better emotional regulation skills. In contrast, those exposed to neglect or constant criticism may struggle with anxiety, anger, or depression later in life.

2. Self-Worth and Confidence 

A child who receives love, praise, and encouragement grows up with a strong sense of self-worth. On the other hand, frequent exposure to negativity, comparison, or abuse can lead to low self-esteem and self-doubt.

3. Attachment and Relationships 

The way a parent interacts with their child sets the stage for how that child will approach relationships. Secure attachment fosters trust, empathy, and healthy connections, while insecure or neglectful parenting can result in difficulties with intimacy and trust in adulthood.

4. Resilience and Problem-Solving  

Children exposed to supportive guidance learn how to face challenges and setbacks constructively. However, children who grow up in overly critical or unpredictable environments may develop avoidance behaviors or struggle with decision-making.

5. Connection with Faith 

For Muslim families, a child’s early experiences significantly influence their connection to Islam. A parent who models prayer, gratitude, and good character instills love for Allah, His messenger, and the Sunnah in their child. In contrast, inconsistent religious practices or harsh attitudes can create resentment or detachment from faith.

The Lasting Effects of Negative Childhood Experiences 

While positive experiences build strong, capable adults, negative ones can leave lasting scars. Known as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), these include abuse, neglect, witnessing domestic violence, or growing up in a home with substance abuse or mental health challenges. Studies have shown that individuals with high ACE scores are at a greater risk of mental health issues, chronic illnesses, and relationship problems in adulthood.  

However, this is not to say that negative experiences doom a person’s future. With proper guidance, love, and interventions, individuals can heal and thrive despite their past. The key lies in breaking generational cycles and being intentional about parenting practices.

The Role of Intentional Parenting

Intentional parenting means being present, mindful, and deliberate in your approach to raising children. It requires focusing on the child’s needs, guiding them with love and wisdom, and creating an environment that nurtures their holistic development. Here are practical steps for being intentional in the parenting journey:

1. Be Emotionally Available 

Listen to your child without distractions, acknowledge their feelings, and provide reassurance. Being emotionally present builds trust and strengthens your bond.

2. Create a Safe Environment  

Ensure your home is a space where your child feels secure, loved, and respected. A stable environment fosters confidence and curiosity in children.

3. Model Good Behavior

Children learn by observing their parents. Show them how to manage stress, resolve conflicts, and maintain faith through your actions.

4. Encourage Play and Exploration 

Play is essential for a child’s cognitive and emotional development. Engage in activities that stimulate their creativity and critical thinking.

5. Teach Faith and Values Early  

Be consistent in teaching Islamic values through practical examples. Involve children in acts of worship, charity, and kindness, making these practices a natural part of their lives.

6. Focus on Connection Over Perfection

Parenting is not about being flawless but about building meaningful connections. Apologize when you make mistakes and show your child that growth is a continuous process.

Why Your Presence Matters

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy for parents to become distracted by work, technology, or personal goals. However, children do not measure love in material gifts or grand gestures; they measure it in time and attention. Being present in your child’s life means showing up not just physically but emotionally and spiritually.  

When you invest in your child’s upbringing with intentionality, you are not only shaping their future but also leaving behind a legacy of goodness that will, insha’Allah, benefit you in this world and the hereafter.

Healing from Our Past to Shape a Better Future

A parent's ability to guide their children intentionally often hinges on their awareness of how their past influences their present actions and decisions. Healing from childhood scars can break cycles of negative patterns, enabling parents to raise their children in healthier, more intentional ways.

Here’s why the healing is vital:  

1. Understanding Patterns 

Parents may unconsciously replicate behaviors or parenting styles they experienced as children. Reflecting on their past allows them to recognize these patterns and determine whether they are beneficial or harmful. For instance, a parent who grew up in an emotionally distant household might unintentionally struggle with emotional availability unless they address their own experiences.

2. Breaking Generational Cycles  

Unresolved trauma or negative experiences can perpetuate generational cycles of dysfunction. Healing from these scars equips parents to foster a more nurturing environment, free from the shadows of their own pain.

3. Modeling Growth  

When parents engage in self-reflection and personal growth, they model resilience and the importance of self-improvement for their children. This demonstrates that it’s possible to overcome challenges and strive for betterment.

4. Cultivating Empathy 

Reflecting on their childhood experiences helps parents empathize with their children. They can better understand the vulnerabilities of childhood and consciously create a supportive environment.

5. Aligning Intentionality with Healing

Intentional parenting requires clarity of purpose. By addressing unresolved issues, parents can approach their roles with a clear and positive mindset, focused on the child’s best interests rather than reacting from unresolved emotions.

To heal from your past, you can adopt the following: 

- Reflect on the parenting styles you experienced as a child.  

- Remember specific moments that brought joy or pain and how these memories influence your life today, particularly your parenting.  

- Identify conscious steps you can take to heal, such as 

• seeking therapy,

• engaging in dua, and 

• asking Allah for guidance.  

Planting Seeds for a Better Future 

The Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) said:  

"Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock."

(Bukhari and Muslim)  

This profound hadith reminds us of the weighty responsibility of parenting. The seeds we plant in our children’s hearts today will grow into the actions, beliefs, and personalities of tomorrow. By being present and intentional, we can help them navigate life with strength, faith, and resilience.  

Parenting is not about perfection; it’s about striving to do your best with love, patience, and reliance on Allah (SWT). Let us remember that every moment with our children is an opportunity to shape their future and guide them toward becoming the best versions of themselves.  

May Allah (SWT) grant us the wisdom and strength to fulfill our roles as parents with excellence, and may He bless our efforts in raising righteous children. Ameen. 

Teaching and Applying Emotional Intelligence in Parenting

In today's fast-paced world, parenting involves more than meeting the physical needs of children. It demands an understanding of emotional intelligence (EI)—the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and effectively express emotions, as well as understand the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is increasingly recognized as essential for a child's overall development, contributing significantly to their academic success, mental well-being, social skills, and future relationships.

Incorporating emotional intelligence into parenting helps children not only process and understand their own feelings but also empathize with others. As parents, modeling and teaching EI can create a healthier, more compassionate family environment. Here’s a comprehensive guide on what EI in parenting looks like and how to cultivate it.

1. Understanding Emotional Intelligence in Parenting

Emotional intelligence involves four primary components:

1. Self-awareness: Recognizing one’s emotions and how they affect thoughts and behavior.

2. Self-regulation: Managing emotions healthily, which allows us to be flexible and respond positively to situations.

3. Empathy: Understanding and sharing the feelings of others, allowing us to connect with and comfort others.

4. Social skills: Building healthy communication, teamwork, and conflict-resolution skills.

For parents, EI means recognizing your own emotional triggers, understanding how your emotional responses affect your child, and being aware of your child’s emotional needs.

2. Benefits of Teaching Emotional Intelligence to Children

Teaching EI provides children with critical life skills that contribute to their well-being and success. Here are some benefits:

• Better Communication: Children learn to express their emotions without fear or aggression, leading to healthier communication patterns.
• Improved Relationships: EI helps children develop empathy, which improves their ability to form lasting friendships and positive relationships.
• Enhanced Academic Performance: Emotionally intelligent children tend to perform better in school due to their ability to manage stress, focus, and work well with others.
• Greater Resilience: EI teaches children how to cope with disappointment, stress, and challenges, making them more resilient as they grow.

3. Teaching Emotional Intelligence: Practical Steps for Parents

Here are ways to foster emotional intelligence in your child:

A. Model Emotional Awareness and Regulation

Children learn by observing their parents. Show them how to manage emotions constructively:

• Name Your Emotions: When you feel frustrated, sad, or happy, express it in words, like “I feel frustrated because the day has been long.”
• Demonstrate Calmness: Children are likely to adopt calm responses when they see their parents handling stress calmly. Show them how taking deep breaths or stepping away can help when emotions run high.

B. Practice Active Listening

Listen to your child without judgment. Let them feel understood and valued:

• - Encourage Expression: When they share their feelings, respond with interest and empathy. For example, say, “That sounds hard; tell me more about how you felt.”
• Validate Their Emotions: Avoid dismissing their feelings. Phrases like “I understand why you’re upset” validate their experiences, helping them feel acknowledged.

C. Teach Empathy

Empathy is fundamental to EI. Foster empathy by encouraging your child to consider others’ feelings:

• Role-Playing: Use stories or role-play to help children step into others' shoes. Ask questions like, “How do you think they felt when that happened?”
• Acknowledge Acts of Kindness: When your child shows empathy or helps others, acknowledge and praise them. Positive reinforcement helps solidify these behaviors.

D. Foster Problem-Solving Skills

Teach children to manage emotions by developing problem-solving skills:

• Identify the Problem: Guide them to articulate the issue, whether it’s a disagreement with a friend or frustration with homework.
• Brainstorm Solutions Together: Instead of solving the problem for them, involve them in finding solutions. Ask questions like, “What do you think you could do in this situation?”

  

4. Creating a Supportive Emotional Environment

To nurture emotional intelligence in children, create an environment where emotions are accepted, respected, and managed positively.

 A. Set Clear Boundaries

While it’s essential to encourage emotional expression, children should understand that certain behaviors are not acceptable.

• Teach Respectful Expression: Teach them to express emotions respectfully. Instead of hitting or yelling, they can use words to express their frustration.
• Provide Consistent Guidance: Consistent boundaries give children a sense of security and help them understand the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

B. Encourage Emotional Literacy through Books and Play

Reading books on emotions and engaging in pretend play allows children to explore different emotional scenarios in a safe environment.

• Use Storybooks: Books featuring characters dealing with emotions can help children recognize and label their own feelings.
• Engage in Pretend Play: Pretend play offers a chance for children to explore feelings like joy, anger, or sadness in a creative way.

C. Emphasize Mindfulness and Self-Care

Mindfulness techniques help children develop emotional awareness and self-regulation.

• Practice Deep Breathing: Teach children simple deep-breathing exercises to help them calm down when they feel overwhelmed.
• Model Self-Care: Show your child that self-care—like taking time to rest or engage in hobbies—is important for emotional well-being.

5. Applying Emotional Intelligence with Islamic Values

In an Islamic framework, emotional intelligence aligns with principles such as compassion, empathy, patience, and understanding.

A. Emphasize Compassion and Patience

Islam teaches compassion and patience, both key elements of EI:

• Encourage Patience (Sabr): Remind children of the virtue of patience, especially during challenging situations. For example, share stories of the Prophet Muhammad’s patience in the face of adversity.
• Promote Forgiveness: Encourage forgiveness as a response to conflict, helping children learn to resolve issues without harboring anger.

 

B. Teach Empathy and Kindness

The Quran and Sunnah emphasize empathy and kindness towards others, reflecting the importance of emotional intelligence.

• Lead by Example: Children who see kindness and empathy in their parents are likely to adopt these traits.
• Practice Dua for Others: Teach them to make dua for others, which fosters a habit of caring for and thinking about others.

C. Instill Self-Reflection

Islam encourages self-reflection, a vital component of self-awareness. Guide children to reflect on their behavior and consider how their actions affect others.

The prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) was reported to have said that: 

"The strong one isn't he who wrestles others, rather he is the one who controls his emotions in the face of anger" [Al-Bukhari]

6. Overcoming Challenges in Teaching Emotional Intelligence

While teaching EI, parents may encounter challenges, such as dealing with their own stress or managing a child’s intense emotions. The following methods can be applied:

• Acknowledge Imperfections: It’s natural to feel overwhelmed at times. Acknowledge your imperfections, seek support when needed, and remember that EI is a learning journey for both parents and children.
• Be Consistent: Repeated guidance helps children internalize lessons about EI, even if it takes time.

Teaching emotional intelligence in parenting builds a foundation for resilience, empathy, and healthy communication in children. By fostering EI, you’re empowering your child with tools to navigate life’s challenges with wisdom, patience, and compassion. As parents, modeling emotional intelligence in our behavior strengthens the parent-child relationship and sets a powerful example, creating a harmonious, emotionally intelligent family dynamic.

Understanding Learning Disorders: A Guide for Parents and Caregivers

As parents and caregivers, it is natural to be concerned about a child’s development, particularly when it comes to learning. Some children may struggle more than others in school, not due to lack of effort or intelligence, but because they are dealing with a learning disorder. Recognizing and addressing learning disorders early on can make a significant difference in a child’s academic success and emotional well-being.

This article aims to shed light on what learning disorders are, how to identify them, and practical ways parents and caregivers can support their children in overcoming these challenges.

What are Learning Disorders?

A learning disorder is a neurological condition that affects a child’s ability to acquire, process, and use information. Learning disorders are not related to intelligence; many children with learning disorders have average or above-average intelligence. However, they may struggle with specific skills such as reading, writing, math, or attention.

Some common types of learning disorders include:

1. Dyslexia – Affects reading skills, including reading comprehension, fluency, and the ability to recognize words.

2. Dysgraphia – Affects writing abilities, such as spelling, handwriting, and organizing thoughts on paper.

3. Dyscalculia – Affects mathematical skills, including number sense, calculation, and problem-solving.

4. Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) – Affects how the brain processes auditory information, making it difficult to understand spoken language, especially in noisy environments.

5. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) – Affects attention, impulse control, and hyperactivity, often impacting focus and organizational skills in learning.

Signs of Learning Disorders

Children with learning disorders often exhibit signs that may be noticeable at home, in school, or in social settings. It is important for parents and caregivers to recognize these signs early to seek appropriate intervention.

Common signs include:

• Reading Difficulties: Difficulty recognizing words, understanding what they read, or reading slower than peers.
• Writing Problems: Poor handwriting, trouble with spelling, and difficulty organizing written work.
• Math Struggles: Trouble understanding basic math concepts, memorizing facts, or performing calculations.
• Attention Issues: Difficulty focusing, completing tasks, or organizing thoughts.
• Language and Speech Delays: Struggling with spoken language, understanding instructions, or expressing thoughts clearly.
• Poor Coordination: Problems with fine motor skills, such as holding a pencil or cutting with scissors.
• Behavioral Issues: Frustration, anxiety, or acting out in response to academic challenges.

It’s important to note that every child develops at their own pace. However, if a child consistently struggles in a particular area and these challenges interfere with their daily activities, it may be worth seeking professional evaluation.

What Causes Learning Disorders?

Learning disorders can result from a combination of genetic, environmental, and neurological factors. Some children may inherit a predisposition to learning difficulties from family members. Additionally, factors like premature birth, low birth weight, exposure to toxins during pregnancy, or early childhood trauma can increase the risk of developing a learning disorder.

While the exact cause of learning disorders can be complex, research suggests that early intervention can greatly improve outcomes, regardless of the root cause.

How Learning Disorders are Diagnosed

If you suspect your child has a learning disorder, it’s essential to seek a professional evaluation. This often involves a team of specialists, including:

• Pediatricians
• Child Psychologists or Psychiatrists
• Educational Psychologists
• Speech-Language Pathologists
• Occupational Therapists

The evaluation typically includes:

• Standardized Tests: These assess specific academic skills, such as reading, writing, and math.
• Cognitive Assessments: These measure overall intellectual functioning, memory, and problem-solving skills.
• Observations: Teachers, parents, and specialists may observe how the child behaves in different settings, such as at home and school.
• Developmental History: A review of the child’s early developmental milestones, medical history, and any known challenges they’ve experienced.

An early diagnosis can help set the stage for appropriate interventions and accommodations to help the child succeed academically and socially.

Supporting a Child with a Learning Disorder

Once a learning disorder is diagnosed, parents and caregivers can take several steps to support the child. With the right strategies, children with learning disorders can achieve success in school and beyond.

1. Early Intervention and Tailored Support

The earlier a learning disorder is identified, the sooner a child can receive tailored support. Some schools may offer Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) or 504 Plans, which outline specific accommodations and support to meet a child’s learning needs. Examples include:

• Extra time for tests and assignments
• One-on-one tutoring or specialized instruction
• Assistive technology, such as audiobooks or speech-to-text software
• Modifications to the curriculum to better suit the child’s learning style

2. Positive Reinforcement and Patience

Children with learning disorders often struggle with self-esteem. They may feel “less capable” than their peers, which can lead to frustration and anxiety. Parents can play a crucial role by:

• Celebrating small victories: Acknowledge and praise progress, no matter how small.
• Fostering a growth mindset: Encourage the idea that challenges are opportunities for growth, and that effort and perseverance lead to improvement.

• Avoiding comparison: Focus on your child’s unique strengths rather than comparing them to others.

3. Partnering with Educators

It’s essential for parents to maintain open communication with teachers and school staff. Regular meetings to discuss the child’s progress and any changes in their needs can make a big difference. Be proactive in advocating for your child and ensuring that accommodations are effectively implemented in the classroom.

4. Building Executive Functioning Skills

Many children with learning disorders struggle with executive functioning—the mental processes that help with organization, time management, and problem-solving. Parents can help their children develop these skills by:

• Creating structured routines: Set clear, consistent routines for homework, chores, and leisure time.
• Breaking tasks into smaller steps: Teach your child how to tackle large assignments by breaking them down into more manageable parts.
• Using visual aids: Calendars, checklists, and timers can help children stay organized and on track.

5. Encouraging a Support Network

Children with learning disorders often feel isolated or different from their peers. Encourage your child to participate in activities where they can meet others who share similar interests or challenges. Support groups for children with learning disabilities can also provide a sense of community and belonging.

Strengthening Family Involvement

It’s important for the entire family to be involved in supporting the child with a learning disorder. Here are some ways caregivers can help:

• Educate yourself: Learn as much as you can about your child’s specific disorder and the available strategies for support.
• Stay patient: Progress may be slow at times, but patience and persistence will lead to improvement.
• Provide emotional support: Your child needs to know that they are loved and supported no matter what challenges they face.

Learning disorders may present unique challenges, but with the right support, children can thrive academically, socially, and emotionally. Early diagnosis, tailored interventions, and a strong support network are essential to helping children with learning disorders succeed.

Parents and caregivers play a crucial role in advocating for their child’s needs, maintaining open communication with educators, and providing emotional and academic support. By fostering a positive, growth-oriented environment, you can empower your child to overcome obstacles and reach their full potential.

Remember, every child learns differently, and learning disorders do not define your child's abilities or future success. With the right approach, they can excel in their own unique way.

Understanding and Catering to Different Learning Styles in Children

As parents, teachers, and caregivers, one of the most important responsibilities we have is to provide children with the right tools to learn and grow effectively. Every child is unique, and this uniqueness extends to how they absorb, process, and retain information. This is where understanding learning styles becomes essential. By identifying and catering to a child’s specific learning style, we can help them maximize their potential and build a strong foundation for future learning.

What are Learning Styles?

Learning styles refer to the different ways individuals prefer to take in, process, and understand information. While children can benefit from a combination of learning styles, most tend to have a dominant one. Research has shown that there are generally four primary learning styles in children:

1. Visual Learners 

   Visual learners learn best when they can see the information. They prefer using pictures, diagrams, charts, and written instructions to understand concepts. Visual learners thrive when lessons include illustrations or hands-on activities with visual components.

2. Auditory Learners 

   Auditory learners excel when information is presented verbally. These children learn by listening to explanations, stories, or discussions. They are more likely to understand when given the opportunity to discuss, recite, or listen to others share information.

3. Kinesthetic Learners  

   Kinesthetic learners, or tactile learners, prefer hands-on experiences. They learn through movement, touch, and doing physical activities. These children benefit from active involvement in experiments, role-playing, or projects that allow them to use their body and hands.

4. Reading/Writing Learners

   These learners learn best through words, whether it’s by reading text or writing notes. They prefer written information and often excel at tasks that involve reading books, writing essays, or taking notes during lessons.

How to Identify Your Child’s Learning Style

Determining a child's learning style requires careful observation and interaction. Here are a few ways to identify a child’s dominant style:

1. Observe Their Preferences

   Pay attention to how your child engages with activities and tasks. Do they enjoy drawing pictures, watching videos, or reading? Are they more inclined to listen to poems and rhymes (or music, which must be avoided because it is harām), narrate stories, or prefer moving around and playing? These tendencies give you clues about their preferred learning style.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

   Engage your child in conversations about how they prefer to learn. Ask questions like, “Do you understand better when you see something or when someone explains it to you?” This can give insight into their thought processes.

3. Experiment with Different Activities 

   Offer a variety of activities such as reading a story, listening to an audiobook, watching a video, or conducting a hands-on experiment. Observe how your child responds to each of these formats and which one seems to resonate more with them.

4. Seek Feedback from Teachers 

   Teachers often spend a significant amount of time observing and interacting with children in a learning environment. They can provide valuable feedback on how your child engages with lessons and what learning methods seem most effective for them.

How to Meet the Learning Needs of Each Style

Once you’ve identified your child’s learning style, the next step is to tailor your approach to best meet their needs. Here’s how to adapt to each style:

1. For Visual Learners

• Use visual aids like flashcards, charts, and diagrams.
• Encourage them to draw or create visual representations of what they learn.
• Utilize color-coded notes or graphic organizers.
• Engage them with video lessons or educational cartoons.

2. For Auditory Learners

• Encourage verbal repetition and recitation.
• Use rhymes, songs, and storytelling as part of learning.
• Engage them in discussions, where they can ask and answer questions.
• Use audio books and educational podcasts.

3. For Kinesthetic Learners

• Include hands-on activities such as building models or using manipulatives.
• Allow them to move around while learning (e.g., acting out stories or using gestures).
• Provide frequent breaks during study sessions to help them stay focused.
• Involve them in real-life learning experiences like cooking, gardening, or sports.

4. For Reading/Writing Learners

• Provide access to plenty of books and written materials.
• Encourage them to keep a journal or take detailed notes.
• Give them opportunities to write about what they’ve learned.
• Introduce word games or puzzles that involve written text.

The Importance of Flexibility

It’s important to recognize that children are dynamic and may exhibit characteristics of multiple learning styles. What works today may not always work tomorrow, and their preferences may shift over time. Therefore, flexibility is key in catering to a child’s learning needs. Providing a well-rounded approach that incorporates elements from all learning styles can help children develop a diverse set of skills and foster a love for learning.

Islamic Perspective on Learning

In Islam, the pursuit of knowledge is highly encouraged, as stated in the Qur'an:  

"And say, 'My Lord, increase me in knowledge.'" (Qur’an 20:114).  

This verse highlights the importance of knowledge, and the desire to increase in it as an essential trait in every Muslim.

Additionally, the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) was known to teach in various ways, adapting his methods to suit the needs of different companions. He used visual aids, storytelling, questioning, and practical demonstrations, thereby emphasizing the importance of personalized learning.

Understanding and catering to different learning styles is crucial for the development of a child’s academic, social, and emotional well-being. By identifying their dominant learning style and offering them personalized opportunities to engage with content, we can provide them with the best possible environment to thrive. As parents and caregivers, our role is to nurture their individuality and help them develop into lifelong learners who love knowledge for the sake of Allah.

May Allah bless our efforts in guiding our children toward excellence, both in this life and the Hereafter.

The Role of Play in Early Childhood Learning and Development

Play is an essential aspect of early childhood learning and development. Through play, children explore their surroundings, learn new skills, develop social interactions, and grow emotionally and cognitively. Play in the early years is not just a form of recreation; it is a vital component of a child’s intellectual, physical, social, and spiritual development.

Importance of Play in Child Development

Children's early years lay the foundation for future success in learning and life. Play helps children develop in several critical areas, including:

1. Cognitive Development: Through activities like problem-solving games, role-playing, and creative tasks, children develop their thinking skills. Play introduces children to cause and effect, sequencing, and spatial relationships, all of which are essential for cognitive growth. 

Allah (SWT) reminds us of the importance of reflection and seeking knowledge, “And He taught Adam the names – all of them.” (Qur'an, 2:31). 

This act of learning through interaction with one’s surroundings and people is mirrored in how children learn through play.

2. Physical Development: Play helps children develop fine and gross motor skills. Running, jumping, and playing with objects build muscle strength and coordination. These activities enhance children’s physical well-being, which is crucial for overall development. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) placed great importance on physical activity and encouraged parents to engage their children in sports and play. He said:

 “Teach your children swimming, archery, and horse riding” (Sahih Bukhari). 

3. Social and Emotional Development: Play provides opportunities for children to interact with others, learn how to cooperate, take turns, and share. These interactions foster emotional regulation and empathy, crucial for emotional intelligence. Through play, children learn to express themselves and understand the feelings of others, which is essential for social development.

4. Language Development: Engaging in pretend play and storytelling activities encourages children to use language to express ideas, thoughts, and emotions. These activities enhance communication skills, vocabulary, and understanding of social contexts. During play, children often engage in dialogues and imaginative scenarios, which promote language acquisition and articulation. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) would also play with children and engage them in conversation, showing his compassion and concern for their growth. He once said, 

“He is not of us who does not have mercy on young children” (Sunan Abi Dawood).

5. Spiritual Development: Play can also serve as a medium to introduce Islamic values and teachings. Through play, children can learn about prayer, Qur'anic stories, and Islamic manners. For example, role-playing can be used to teach children how to perform Salah (prayer) or emulate the Prophet's (Peace be upon him) Sunnah. Play helps children understand the guidance of Islam in a natural and interactive way, allowing them to internalize it.

Types of Play and Their Role in Learning

Developmental psychologists have identified a number of play types that are crucial in the learning if children. Below are a number of play types and the role they play in learning.

1. Free Play: This unstructured form of play allows children to follow their curiosity and engage in activities they enjoy without specific goals. It promotes creativity, imagination, and independent thinking. Through free play, children develop problem-solving skills, autonomy, and resilience.

2. Structured Play: Organized activities led by adults, such as educational games, puzzles, and sports, can help children build discipline, follow instructions, and work towards goals. Structured play complements free play by introducing children to rules and cooperative tasks, essential for developing focus and teamwork.

3. Imaginative Play: In pretend play, children take on different roles and experiment with real-world scenarios. This kind of play is critical for cognitive development, as it allows children to explore different perspectives and think abstractly. It also nurtures empathy as children learn to put themselves in others' shoes.

 The Islamic Perspective on Play

Islam recognizes the importance of play in child development. The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) was known for his kindness towards children, encouraging play and interaction. He would even engage in playful activities with his grandchildren, teaching us the value of nurturing children through fun and light-heartedness.

There is a story of how the Prophet (Peace be upon him) would playfully carry his grandsons, Hasan and Husayn, on his back. This gentle and playful manner not only created a bond between them but also showed the Prophet’s care for children’s happiness and development.

In the Qur'an, we find subtle mentions of the value of fostering joy and emotional well-being among children. For instance, Prophet Ya’qub (Peace be upon him) allowed his sons to take their brother Yusuf (Peace be upon him) out for play and enjoyment, despite being concerned about his physical safety:

 “Send him with us tomorrow to enjoy himself and play, and indeed, we will be his guardians.” (Qur’an, 12:12). 

This verse highlights the role of play in creating a balance between learning and recreation.

Practical Tips for Parents and Educators

It is necessary for parents and educators who are concerned with the positive development of children, to be intentional in playing some roles in creating a conducive environment for the children to play. Here are some tips for parents and educators:

• Facilitate Play: Provide children with a safe and stimulating environment for play. Whether it’s a playground, a classroom, or a home setting, ensure there are enough resources like toys, books, and games to inspire creativity.

• Join the Play: Occasionally, participate in play with your children. This fosters bonding and gives you insight into their thoughts and emotions. The Prophet’s (Peace be upon him) playful interactions with children serve as a model for how adults should engage with young ones.

• Balance Play and Learning: Integrate educational objectives into play. For instance, teaching numbers, letters, or basic religious practices can be seamlessly introduced during playtime.

• Encourage Group Play: Play with others promotes social skills. Encourage children to play with their peers to build cooperation, problem-solving skills, and empathy.

Play is a critical component of early childhood learning and development, influencing cognitive, physical, emotional, social, and spiritual growth. It offers children a natural and enjoyable way to engage with their environment, learn new skills, and develop holistically. In the light of Islamic teachings, play is not only permissible but encouraged, as it nurtures young minds and hearts, helping children grow into balanced, thoughtful, and responsible individuals. Children who are under the age of seven should be allowed to engage in different types of healthy plays, and avoid exposure to screens as much as possible.

Parents and educators should embrace the power of play and ensure that children have ample opportunities to play in ways that foster learning and development. By doing so, we can fulfill our responsibility of raising children who are not only knowledgeable and capable but also emotionally and spiritually attuned to the guidance of Allah.