Stop Calling Neurodivergent Children “Dull”

Growing up, I remember the sting of labels. Not for myself—but for the many classmates around me who were called names that stripped them of dignity: “olodo”, “dullard”, “slow”, “unintelligent”. It happened both in primary and secondary school, in classrooms that were supposed to be safe spaces. Sadly, these weren’t just labels. They became lifelong identities that haunted these children well into adulthood.

At the time, I didn’t see anything wrong with it.

We all thought it was normal to mock those who couldn’t “keep up.” We assumed that if a child wasn’t doing well in school, it meant they weren’t smart. They needed more beating. Or more shame. Or louder yelling. But Alhamdulillah, I know better now.

Through my learning in education, psychology, family therapy, and neurodevelopment, I’ve come to a heartbreaking, yet empowering realization: many of the children we labelled as “dull” were never dull at all.

They were different.

And we failed them.

What We Didn't Know About the "Abnormal" and "Slow" Children

Some children are born with mental disabilities—conditions that can be physically and emotionally draining on the family. These children may never fully mature in mental capacity, often functioning like toddlers or young kids even as they age into adulthood. That’s a deep and challenging journey, and one for another day.

But there’s another category of children—more common and deeply misunderstood—those with neurodevelopmental disorders such as:

• ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder)

• ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

• SLD (Specific Learning Disabilities like dyslexia, dyscalculia, etc.)

These children have no issues with intelligence. Their IQ can be average, above average, or even exceptional. But they learn, focus, speak, and behave differently—not wrongly.

The problem isn’t their brain.

The problem is our lens.

The Labels That Break Them

Imagine being a child who’s trying their best to concentrate but whose brain processes sound, sight, and emotion in a heightened, scattered way. Imagine struggling to write letters correctly because your motor planning is off. Imagine not understanding sarcasm or social rules because your wiring is different.

Now imagine being called “useless,” “a disgrace,” or “possessed.”

These aren’t just names. They’re weapons. They pierce confidence, destroy self-worth, and plant the seeds of anxiety, depression, and rebellion.

Let us recall the words of our Prophet ﷺ:

“He is not one of us who does not show mercy to our young ones.” (Abu Dawood, 4943)

Neurodiversity is Not Disobedience

In Islam, every soul is created with intention and purpose. Allah says:

“Indeed, We have created man in the best of stature.”

(Surah At-Tin, 95:4)

This includes children with ADHD who can’t sit still during dhikr, or children on the autism spectrum who struggle with emotional connection, or a child with a learning disability who still can’t read at age 10.

They are not broken.

They are not stupid.

They are not the enemy of your reputation as a parent or teacher.

They are different. And it’s time we learn them.

What Parents and Teachers Must Do Now

1. Learn About Neurodevelopmental Disorders
   Read. Attend seminars. Speak to professionals. If your child is struggling socially, emotionally, or academically, don’t delay getting a professional assessment.

2. Stop Comparing Them to Other Children
   Your child’s journey is theirs alone. Do not use the milestones of other kids as a weapon of shame.

3. Build Their Confidence
   Every child has a strength. Help them discover it. Celebrate small wins. Allow their hearts to breathe.

4. Avoid Harsh Labels and Name-Calling
   The Prophet ﷺ never shamed the weak. He elevated them. His mercy was magnetic. Shouldn’t we follow his example?

5. Be Their Advocate
   Don't wait for society to be kind to your child. Teach others how to treat them. Protect them. Stand up for them.

So many of our children are hurting not because Allah created them lacking, but because we lacked understanding. If only we had known, we would have taught them differently. Loved them more patiently. Disciplined them more wisely. And most importantly, we would have seen their beauty beneath the struggle.

Let this be the beginning of a new chapter—not just for you as a parent or teacher—but for the many children whose futures will be shaped by your compassion and willingness to learn.

“And do not despise the weak among you, for it is by them that you are granted provision and help.”

– Prophet Muhammad ﷺ (Sahih Bukhari)

Keep Following Our Blog

At Pure Sprouts Nurture Hub, we will In Shaa Allaah, continue to share practical guidance and Islamic insights to help you understand and raise children with neurodevelopmental disorders, in the next few posts. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver — you have a role to play in rewriting the stories of these precious souls.

Let’s raise hearts, not just hands.

Let’s raise children, not just expectations.

And let’s do it with mercy.

Did this reflection stir your heart or open your mind?

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