Stop Calling Neurodivergent Children "Dull". (Part Two)

When Trouble Isn’t Just Trouble: Understanding ADHD in Our Children

Imagine a child who tries hard to sit still — but his legs just won’t stop moving. A child who wants to listen — but her mind drifts like leaves in the wind. A child who isn’t disrespectful, but speaks out of turn, gets punished again, and again, and again. A child that has a Ferrari speed, but with bicycle brakes.

Now imagine being that child. Every day.

This is the silent reality for many children with Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) — a condition many in our communities still do not understand, let alone accept.

What Exactly Is ADHD?

ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder. That means it affects how the brain grows and functions. It is not caused by poor parenting, laziness, or a lack of morals — it is a difference in brain wiring, especially in areas that control focus, self-control, and behavior regulation.

Children with ADHD often display symptoms such as:

• Impulsiveness (blurting out answers, interrupting others, taking risks)

• Hyperactivity (constant movement, talking non-stop, restlessness)

• Inattentiveness (easily distracted, forgetful, poor concentration)

And most of the time, they are two to three years behind their peers in terms of maturity — not by choice, but by design. They often want to do well, but their brains struggle with executive functions, like staying organized, managing time, regulating emotions, and following through on tasks.

Check this YouTube video for a visual illustration. Does my child have ADHD?

More Common Than We Think

ADHD is the most common neurodevelopmental condition worldwide — and it exists here in Nigeria, too. Yet many children are undiagnosed, misunderstood, or mislabeled.

A child with ADHD may be wrongly seen as:

• Troublesome – because they can’t sit still in the classroom.

• Dull or lazy – because they can’t complete assignments or follow instructions.

• Stubborn or disrespectful – because they speak out or disobey.

But what the world sees as bad behavior is often a silent cry for help.

Why Our Response Matters

When we fail to understand ADHD, we don’t just mislabel children — we break their spirit.

Instead of support, they get shouting.

Instead of guidance, they get punishment.

Instead of mercy, they get rejection.

And this isn’t just harmful — it’s dangerous. It can lead to low self-esteem, emotional trauma, school dropouts, strained parent-child relationships, and even depression.

An Islamic Call to Awareness

Our beloved Prophet ﷺ was sent as a mercy to the worlds — and his mercy extended to every soul, especially those who struggled. He never ridiculed people who were different or harsh to those who were weak.

“He who is not merciful to the young and does not respect the elders is not one of us.” — (Tirmidhi, 1921)

In another narration, when a Bedouin urinated in the mosque, the Prophet’s companions rushed to rebuke him. But the Prophet ﷺ stopped them, and instead, spoke gently to the man, explaining with wisdom. (Bukhari)

What would he do with a child who couldn’t sit still? Who struggled to pay attention? Who got into trouble, not out of disrespect — but out of neurodivergence?

Let this be a moment of deep reflection.

What Should Parents Do?

If your child — or one in your care — shows signs of ADHD, do not panic. Instead:

1. Observe – Look for patterns. Is your child frequently inattentive, impulsive, or hyperactive beyond what is age-appropriate?

2. Seek Professional Help – Visit a qualified psychologist or psychiatrist for assessment. ADHD is not a spiritual defect. Just like you’d seek help for diabetes, seek help for mental health.

3. Manage, Don’t Mourn – ADHD has no cure, but it can be managed successfully through therapy, parenting strategies, and — in some cases — medication.

4. Create a Supportive Environment – Children with ADHD need structure, routine, positive reinforcement, and above all — love and understanding.

“And do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely, killing them is a heinous sin.” (Qur’an 17:31)

While this verse speaks of physical harm, the scholars also interpret it as a prohibition against neglect, emotional harm, or unjust treatment of children.

A Final Word to Our Ummah

The Ummah needs more awareness, not more assumptions. More understanding, not more punishments. Let us stop labeling children before we’ve listened to them. Before we’ve tried to understand what they’re trying to tell us — even in their misbehavior.

Behind every fidgeting hand, wandering gaze, and endless question is a heart that deserves compassion.

They are not broken. They are different. And with the right help, they can thrive — emotionally, spiritually, and socially.

Let us be the parents, caregivers, and teachers who build, not break. Who see beyond behavior and recognize the soul within.

Did this reflection stir your heart or open your mind?

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